I have two half-sisters, one younger and one older, both my dad’s daughters. They live in Germany, where I was born. People are always surprised to find out about them, but I just don’t talk about them much because they were never part of my life. So, there’s not a lot to say besides, “Yeah, I have a couple of sisters but I know more about you than I do about them.” (And this statement would be true even if I just met that person and only know their name, age, and occupation.)
Last week, a cousin from my dad’s side found me on Facebook. I haven’t seen her since I was five or six years old but I recognized her name and so we sent a couple of messages back and forth. She’s around my age and lives in Holland, where she’s getting an MBA. She caught me up with the family haps and whatnot. We tried to reminisce a little but frankly I don’t remember much of the stuff she remembers, like camping trips. So I cut to the chase and asked this cousin to help me get in touch with my dad. And I asked her if she knew about my older half-sister, who I’ve been wondering about. Now I have my dad’s mailing address, but I have to remember German and/or drastically improve my Farsi writing skills to write him a letter. Plus, I have to come up with something to say that’s worth saying after ten or so years of no real contact.
The exciting part of this story is that two days ago, my older sister and I had an email conversation. Which means we “spoke” for the first time since I was four years old and, if I remember correctly, that day I bored her out of her mind with my play-by-play of the most recent episode of Sesame Street. So here’s my chance for redemption.
My older sister is 30 years old. She is really thin and looks almost nothing like me, but we both have big brown eyes. She works at an ad agency. Her English is okay but not great. All pretty typical stuff.
But the kicker about my sister is that her name is not the one I grew up thinking it was. Her last name is her mom’s, not our dad’s, and her first name is a German one, not the Persian name I was told it was my whole life. I’ve conducted so many Google searches for her the last few years, all in vain. This made me furious because I thought I’d been lied to, but it turns out that all I had to do was share that I wanted to find her, and the powers that be would have told me that I was searching for the wrong name. So then I was furious with myself for a while, but then I stopped being furious. Because it’s pointless to be mad about the past. And I’m actually really thrilled to have found her, whatever her name is.
I spent yesterday shopping with my younger sister (same mom, same dad, grew up together) and the whole time thought to myself, there’s a person who could have been to me what I am to my younger sister. It made me a lot kinder to my younger sister.
I know a lot less about my younger half-sister. My mom and sister and I left Germany when she was really small and I never met her. But as of yesterday, thanks to my cousin on Facebook, I know that she is now in LA so I will probably meet her soon.
It’s very strange to have two other people in the world that share half of my genetic makeup that I don’t know at all. It’s more strange that I could go for years and years without giving that a real thought. And even more strange yet that this part of my life is now on the forefront of my mind again just because my cousin found me on Facebook.
Post a Comment